Below are the 9 most recent journal entries recorded in crimson_mane's LiveJournal:

Wednesday, August 16th, 2006
9:06 pm	An ocean away Where are you darlin', when my Moon is risin', and your Sun is shinin' down What are you doin', are you Missin' me The way that I'm missin' you now CHORUS: The river goes on and on, and the Sea that divides us is a Temporary one, and the Bridge will bring us back together What are you doin', goin' Down in to Soho as I Get my rest tonight What are you doin', are you Busy with your world Well I wish you were busy with mine The river goes on and on, and the Sea that divides us is a Temporary one, and the Bridge will bring us back together (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, October 13th, 2005
6:23 pm	Sad today, Just in general. There is no real reason for me to be feeling how I do at the moment but it is here and I can’t quiet shake it. Maybe it will fade but for now it is too visible to ignore. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 28th, 2005
5:34 pm	West to Turanian It was Red Sonya who came to his aid, and her onslaught was no less terrible then that of a she panther. Her strokes followed each other too quickly for the eye to follow; her blade was a blur of white fire, and men went down like ripe grain before a reaper. -Robert E. Howard, Shadow of the Vulture January 1934 (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 21st, 2005
10:28 pm	Silk and Steel EXCUSE ME WHILE I VENT…. Normally when I am angry my first notion is to take my frustrations out on my punching bag. Tonight however as I set alone in my quiet, muggy bedroom all I can bring myself to do is glare blankly at my keyboard after having spent twenty minutes clutching my favorite paperback Robert E. Howard novel in my arms. There’s nothing else to cling too. I keep preying I can close my eyes and wake up somewhere, anywhere else, somewhere that I belong. I believe Dorothy called it somewhere over the rainbow, Sir Thomas More called it Utopia, Casey calls it sleep, I have yet to find a word for my own safe haven, my abode, my shelter from the dark storms life has endlessly brought to me. Perhaps I have no name for it because, for me, it does not exist. Once, as a child I could burry my thoughts in a sea of childish imaginations, now with maturity I am finding even that I am denied. Now I am actually beginning to lose weight, which is scary since I am not exactly a strapping lass to begin with. My anger has subsided as has my envy and even my hate. The emotion that buckles me down now is a fantastic blend of sorrow and acceptance. Linda, my mother was a very religious woman, there’s a song my uncle used to sing in church for her; it was called lily of the valley. In this song is a line “all alone and broken hearted trying to calm the raging battles in my mind” Although I can’t remember the rest of the song that line has been planted in my head since I heard it at her funeral. Forgive me if I seem to be a bit depressing tonight, but this is my journal I assume I have a rite to ramble to whatever degree I find necessary. Be it pride or understanding I cannot bring myself to feel sympathetic for my own being. Out there in this cold cruel world are children completely deprived of family and anything that resembles a home. There are men and women without anyone to keep them warm on any night. There are people who never learned the value of their own inner strength, which mind you, is still there in me. Here inside my own bleak room I know I have a place to rest at night, though my family has never shown me the love a true family should they are mine just the same and hundreds of miles from me at this very moment I know is a man who does love me. Still I can’t help but feel as lost in despondency as I now do. As a child I always knew the woman a would grow into would be made of fire and steel, tonight it’s silk that possesses me….. Her sisters bend above their looms And gnaw their moldy crumbs; But she rides forth in silk & steel To follow the phantom drums. -The Ballad of Dark Anges (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, July 16th, 2005
12:16 am	Katchoo is that you? This was an entry from my Xanga blog, but it's worth a recap.... TALES FROM THE PICNIC TABLE… Casey and I had a great time last night. We were awake until well into the morning lying outside on the picnic table in my front yard under a blanket looking at the star. Here’s a summary of the conversations we had. Follow my words closely it skips around a bit. You have to really know me and Casey, or well be me and Casey to catch most of it. Don’t you just love inside jokes? Well I thought it was fun anyway and these are some memories I’ll keep with me. Wendy: Donna almost ran over Shelley yesterday. Casey; Really? Was she driving? Wendy; Oh god. Casey; so tell me about New Years. Wendy: Oh god. Casey: no seriously tell me Wendy: I just did I said “oh god” a lot. That’s mostly what I remember. Casey; Your keeping secrets from me you don’t love me anymore. Wendy; (smirks) you want me to share okay he does the cutest thing with his… Casey; well that’s enough sharing for now!”Humma humma did he love ya tender.” Wendy; don’t do the Elvis voice. I hate the Elvis voice. Casey; (fat man voice) Come here little girl. Wana a donut its cream filled. Wendy; Okay no more SIP (it’s a comic thing) for you if your going to quote it in the silly voice. Casey; (still doing it) you know you like it little girl. Wendy; you know I really hate you sometimes! THWAP! (That’s the sound of me hitting Casey with a pillow.) Casey; Oh god I dropped my cigarette. I think it’s on my lap. (Moves around looking for her cigarette) Wendy; Hahahaha. Casey; Hey I found it….it’s burning my leg! Wendy; there’s an epiphany for ya! Hahaha Casey; shut up it hurts. Ouch! (Bounces around trying to grab her cigarette) Wendy; Good grief. (Reaches hand over and grabs the cigarette then puts it out on the side of the picnic table) Casey; What’d ya do that for. Wendy; It was burning you! Casey; didn’t mean I wasn’t planning to smoke it. Now I have to light another one….Where’s my lighter. Wendy; Casey dear the picnic table isn’t that big. How do you manage to lose so much shit on an eight foot long table? Casey; It’s a gift.(leaning over the edge of the picnic table using my cell phone as a flashlight while looking for her lighter, irony.) I think I see it I just can’t reach it. Wendy; (without looking reaches over the side and picks up the lighter.) This what you were looking for? Casey; Figures you’d find it that easy Wendy; what can I say it’s a gift. Casey; WHACK (smacks Wendy. Violent pair aren’t we?) PHONE RINGS. Wendy; its midnight who the heck… (Answers phone.) Hello. Voice; Hey it’s me. Wendy; Hey me how am I doing? Voice; Very funny Wendy. It’s me! Wendy; Um Casey, do you know a me? Casey; Yeah I have known you for years. Voice; It’s me Shelley can you please be serious. Wendy; Can be but I try not to very often. Shelley; GAH. This is important! Wendy; Fine I give in. What’s up? Shelley; its Jed he told me online that he’s been hacking up blood all evening and now I’m worried. He’s like a brother to us. I think he needs to go the ER! Wendy; Oh my. That’s not good. Did he say what caused him to have this problem? Or has he had anything to eat, his sugar level might be low again? Shelley; He doesn’t want me to worry so he’s not telling me much. In fact he regrets telling me what he did. Call him he’ll listen to you. Wendy; Okay bye. (Hangs up cell phone dials Jed and puts him on speaker phone.) Hey Jed, Shelley called. Are you alright? Jed; Yeah I just threw up earlier and there was some blood. Not a lot I’ll be fine. Wendy; Jed….are you sure. You know better then to worry me. I’ll kick your butt. Jed; (laughs) I know I think I just need to sleep it off. I’m fine. Wendy; Are you alone? Casey with me and we’ll come over if you need us. Jed; Mom’s here she knows I’m sick so I’m not alone. Thanks though. But hey while I have you on the phone you could do me a favor. There’s this girl that I want to talk to her name is Brittney and I would call her myself but I’m dating her best friend and….. Wendy; Irritating little man! Your fine. Call Shelley so she doesn’t send the 911 helicopter out to get you. (Hangs up phone) Casey; Well that was mildly entertaining. I’m hungry now. Wendy; Me too, what do you want? Casey; Pizza, Chinese food, ice cream, a bean burrito and chocolate chip cookies. Wendy; in that order? Casey; No I think the cookies should come first. Wendy; The Wednesday night all you can eat random national food buffet huh? Casey; Something like that. Well we are already on a picnic table and it is the perfect kind of night to have a picnic. Wendy; Yeah it has been unusually hot outside this winter. Casey; It feels more like Late Sept. then early Jan. Wendy; Guess global warming does have some perks. Casey; Your sick Wendy; I know. Casey; You still haven’t told me about New Years. Wendy; What does that tell you? Casey; that you’re not going too! Wendy; Ding ding ding. Johnny tell her what she’s won. Casey; your not going to tell me anything you did? Wendy; Him I did him. Casey; (throws hands in the air) thank you captain obvious! Wendy; Annoying aren’t I? Casey; Medically so! You know I think I want to be an English teacher. Wendy; Uhuh. Casey; Seriously, think of all the hot teenage chicks I’d get to teach! Wendy; the mind boggles. Casey; you have room to talk! How many teachers have you slept with? Wendy; That’s different, none of them were mine! Casey; I was kidding…wait…did you…you didn’t…oh man. Wendy; (burst out laughing) you give me far too much credit! No I didn’t and haven’t and won’t. Hahaha Casey; I need another cigarette. Wendy. Wendy; Yes. Casey; I want a baby. Wendy; Hummm. Sorry can’t help you there? (Gives her questioning look) Casey; I have a boyfriend for that silly head. I’m just saying kids are nice. When I do have a baby you’ll be there with me right? Wendy; sure. Casey; and you’ll make the doctor give me the good drugs too right. Wendy; I’ll bring my oozy just make sure. (Laughs) Casey; Want to go find some food? Wendy; Yeah. There’s stuff in the kitchen. Casey; Great so let’s go inside. Wendy; Only one problem. Casey; Eh? Wendy; I saw Dad pull in. He probably didn’t notice us out here, so I’m sure he locked the doors. Casey; How are we supposed to get inside. Wendy; (says nothing but gives Casey a look) Casey; Not the window again that thing is too high off the ground! Wendy; Sorry I left my key in my purse and my purse inside! We’re going to have to improvise! Casey; Fine but I’m too lazy to move off this table. You’re going to have to move me! Wendy; My pleasure. (Tickles Casey until they both fall off the table ...and under it) Casey; I’ve been drunk under the table but this is the first time I’ve been tickled under it! Wendy; There’s a first time for everything. Now we have a date with that bedroom window of mine. (At the window) Casey; Your going to what? Wendy; Boost you up so you can climb in. CRUPLUNK! CRASH! BOOM! WHAM! THUD! BANG! Wendy; Well I didn’t know you were going to jump out my hands! Casey; (tied up in the curtains lying under a massive mound of random objects she’d knocked over.) I didn’t know your mini blinds were going to molest me! THE END. …..thank holy Madonna sweet mother of Jesus and patron saintess of road cones -WP (1 Comment |Comment on this)
12:04 am	YEE HAW YA'LL I'll Think Of A Reason Later" by Lee Ann Womack (Tony Martin/Tim Nichols) 1st Verse I heard he was goin' to marry some girl from Denver Then my sister came over, had the Sunday paper with her There was the girl on the social page Lookin' in love and all engaged We decided she don't take a very good picture Chorus (And) It may be my family's a'redneck nature Rubbin' off, bringin' out unladylike behavior It sure ain't Christian to judge a stranger But I don't like her She may be an angel who spends all winter Bringin' the homeless blankets and dinner A regular Nobel Peace Prize a'winner But I really hate her I'll think of a reason later 2nd Verse I drew horns and blacked out her tooth with a marker Childish, yes, but she made such a thin little target I couldn't be happier on my own But I've got the slightest of a jealous bone And seein' her with him tends to enlarge it (Repeat Chorus) 2nd Chorus Inside her head may lay all the answers For curin' diseases from baldness to cancer Salt of the earth and a real good dancer But I really hate her I'll think of a reason later Spoken Well, it was just one tooth Did I mention I don't particularly care for her She makes me sick Don't ask, believe me...i have some strange moods sometimes, this one is pretty much summed up in the title of this song. (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 30th, 2005
11:48 am	Why G.I Joe had to save Laura Ingles from the joker….. She was very glad he had that kung fu grip! If there was ever an iota of doubt that the gene pool I swam out of wasn’t contaminated with some sort of mutant bacteria; Dan has proved it was! Perhaps my dad’s side of the family was inbred one to many times, maybe my uncles dropped my mom on her head as a child more then they should, perhaps the cosmos just wasn’t aligned correctly when our family tree was planted. Whatever the reason…..by biological family is nutting fucks! Earlier today my brother wandered into my room singing a lovely melody made famous by Ren and Stempy “Happy Happy, joy joy”. With his rum bottle in one hand and a cheese burger in paradise coaster in the other, he plopped down in a chair and asked me to help him remove an oven from his car and put it in the basement. Since I have known Dan my entire life I have learned NOT TO ASK, EVER! Seriously, you don’t want to hear his answers, or maybe if you’re as twisted as I am you just can’t resist. “Okay Dan, why do you have an oven in your car and what is going to do in my basement?” Then he uttered the terrifying phrase “you’ll see”. Well I don’t want to see! I never want to see! It’s just that sometimes when you walk into a room and Dan is rigging up Frankenstein’s laboratory to make a living breathing Imaginext* castle, you can’t help but ask. Then before you even realize you’ve said it, it’s out…”What the hell are you doing man”. And he always answers *shutter* So in my P.J.s (which consist of a pair of shorts with sheep designs on them…wonder if those are from Ireland?) I followed Dan outside to his car, where he hoisted an easy bake oven from the 1960s out of his backseat. “What the Hell?” -SEE I said it! “I was cleaning out the storage building and I had no where to put some stuff so I thought I’d store it in your basement.” He casually answered. “Dude, why do you have an easy bake oven filled with dust muffins ?” *I coughed as I opened it’s oven door* “It was your mother’s” He said in a bored tone. (my mom) WOW that explains so much. So we took the easy bake oven inside, along with a box of books he wanted to keep. I was digging through the box of well-aged “golden” kid’s books and I discovered little Suzy ascot now with tye dye platforms. “Holy Afros and Bellbottoms Fatman!” I screamed in my brother’s general direction. Why is there a paper doll in here? “That’s called a Colorform. They made a lot of those in the 70s” ……..but still why did HE have a dress up doll Colorform? “Why do you have a dress up doll colorform?” –shit I asked again! “It was your mother’s…………………………………………………..when she was 25….” __________________insert raised eyebrow here. Time to attempt to change the subject “do they still make Colorforms?” “I don’t think so, I had a bunch of them when I was little…superman, batman, he-man, g.i. joe, little house on the prairie “ I raised my hand to stop him in mid sentence. “Why?” –oh shit I asked again! “Because I liked Colorforms.” “But Dan, listen closely, superman, batman, he-man, G.I. Joe, little house on the prairie… *sings* one of these things is not like the other, one of these things just isn’t the same *stops singing* and it ends with Laura Ingles!” Dan smirked and said “Well I used to switch the backgrounds. Sometimes G.I. Joe had to save Laura Ingles from the Joker on Eternia!...IT HAPPENS” That’s when I cried. I laughed, I choked, I cried……… At which point I felt the need to blog all this. What’s Dan doing at the moment you might ask? He’s watching T.V. what’s he watching? He’s watching two gay guys hook their monkey up to a tea kettle and stick it with porky pine quills….supposedly it’s a nature show…….:shifty: *Imaginext is copyright and trade marked by Fisher-Price and is the coolest line of toys that they have ever made. part of the family... Dad.... Brother Dan BARBIE...i mean cousin Ashlee cousin mike, the flying squirrel.... mom and uncle jimmy... uncle jimmy and uncle Stve..9steve is the one who looks like a sharon!) oh the perks of being southern (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 22nd, 2005
11:31 am	So now that I have this live journal thing, my mind is racing with what to write. If you know me then you know I can never run out of things to talk about. However is you know me you also know I am computer illiterate! I have no clue how to navigate my way around this thing! In light of that I think I’ll just post the lyrics to one of my favorite songs and a few more pictures…….. After all a picture if worth a thousand words……. Alone by the fire, a warrior I knew Told me this tale, and I pray it is true. From far Ansteorra our dragon-ship came To fight for good Halidar on Lilied plain My sword I had lent seeking honor and fame Or Odin's great hall in the fray We charged into battle, the sun beating high Our battle-horns sounding a victory nigh Our spears crossed their arrows like hawks in the sky Leaving many men dead on the way Sing me no songs of angels I pray For a Valkyrie found me in battle that day The battle was long and the sun was like fire The heat drove us down like a funeral pyre Though many I'd slain, now my bloodlust did tire Struck down by the heat of the day The battle moved onward from where I was laid I drew of my helmet to rest in the shade When a soft even tread, like the wind in a glade Brought a daughter of Asgard my way Sing me no songs of angels I pray For a Valkyrie found me in battle that day She gave me cool drink 'till my wits came again Be fore I could speak she was gone like the wind Had I but died, I could follow her then But I lay with the living that day Long I did search, a full year I have mourned And told all my brothers this love I have bourne But she is of Asgard, and I of this shore So here with my brothers I stay Sing me no songs of angels I pray For a Valkyrie found me in battle that day True to this dream like the tale I have told Close to my heart, a small pouch I still hold And in it a lock of her hair pure as gold This I carry to battle this day Alone by the fire A warrior I knew Told me this tale And I pray it is true..... (2 Comments |Comment on this)
1:33 am	Anger managment Sad as it is THIS is my first entry…..run people…really…run… Maybe instead of Red Sonja I should have gone with Dark Agnes as my alter ego….. Men tend to disappoint her on an hourly basis….. *punches door Why do I need someone in my life anyway? *begins lifting weights After all I have me! Look at me ! I am no little strumpet who has to play the victim in order to make a man do her bidding. I am certainly no tart with cat eyes waiting to snare a member of the opposite gender with bat of my lashes…. *puts weights down…pours stiff drink….(this is the only thing stiff in my life by the way) Seriously? What am I so mad about? Am I mad because I don’t know if I am loved or am I pissed because I think I am too strong to let myself love someone the way I should? *gets out punching bag….. There was a time when anger was my answer for everything. Deck first consider consequences later….. *pummels punching bag off it’s stand…… cheap piece of crap….. *continues punching the bag and the hard wood floor it’s laying on….. Why do I feel so let down? The only person who messed anything up is me. There’s a way to fix this right? *realizes knuckles are bleeding…..finds reason to buy boxing gloves ..wait…how is this my fault? I mean I feel like it is but what the hell did I do? *pours another drink picks weights back up …… Today I spent a fair amount of my afternoons writing on the story I started weeks ago. It’s a fantasy sage about Alore Daughter of the Norse king Erik blood Ax. He was a real ancestor of mine. Right now I wish I could step into Alore’s shoes and go head on into a battle with my blade blazing in a fury of steel and spirit rampaging across a battlefield of ancient portions. *sets down starts to create journal….. what the hell am I going to put in this?????????????????????????? (4 Comments |Comment on this)